5.5.2016

Today was a weird day.

This week is finals week, and I’ve generally had more anxiety about finals than I’ve ever had about anything school related ever. Today was one of the most stressful days I’ve had in a long time. I’ve been working through those feelings and frustrations while studying, packing, and saying goodbye.

Goodbye.

Maybe that’s it. Because I’m also feeling such a sense of finality, and I think that it leads to anxiety sometimes. I’m hugging some of my dearest friends for the last time for who knows how long and talking with my professors and mentors for the last time this school year. (I realize that might not seem like a big deal, but when you have amazing professors, it is.) I’m sitting on the front lawn writing this, sitting here for the last time for a little while. And I’m soaking it in.

So maybe things are a little weird and a little confusing sometimes, but then  you have the moments when you’re just sitting there, and the sun shines perfectly through the trees or you see a toddler waddle across the grass on his wobbly legs, and you remember that things are still good.

This summer, I’m going to be doing good things, different things. It’s weird to switch gears between two things that I love, but I’m not really. Good is good no matter what shape it takes. My thoughts and actions might adjust to fit the situations better, but I’m still the same and still doing good.

So now my anxiety comes in the best form possible — excitement. While I’m finishing some things, new things are about to happen, and it’s going to be so good.

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